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The Lighter Side of Coronavirus

There's no doubt that Coronavirus is a serious matter. However, throughout the ages the Jewish people are known for maintaining their sanity by finding the humorous side of even the most serious matters facing them. So here's a few things to keep a smile on your face while dealing with this outbreak. Do you have anything to keep people smiling? Email president@bcrcva.org.

Couch Concerts to Keep You Moving and Grooving at Home

The Kennedy Center's Millenium Stage is offering free streaming of live performances. These artists "will help us inspire, grieve, heal, and move forward as a nation." 

Click here to tune in Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 4pm!

DIY Masks for Jewish People?

Looking for a DIY mask you can use when you need to go out in public? Here's some ideas that are uniquely crafted for the use of Jewish people. 

 

Too many kippot in your drawer? Too much matzah left over from Passover? problem solved!

A Dr. Seuss guide for Passover this year

Passover Seder Unvite

A renowned doctor has urged us to alter our Seder plans for this year.

Here is the official request from the esteemed Dr. Seuss:

I do not want you in my house
I do not want you or your spouse

I do not wish to eat with you
At Seder one or Seder two

Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re nice
But the CDC gave out this advice

Ten Plagues are enough, you don’t need one more
Turn away Elijah, if he shows at your door

This year’s only guests are Mother, Father, sister or brother
Next year in Jerusalem, we’ll say to each other

From now on at each Seder, this story we’ll tell
How G-d saved his people with a squirt of Purell.

(Thanks to Muriel Gardner for contributing!)

Passover in the Time of Coronavirus

Issued by a family contemplating the season:

Life in the time of plagues! (Oy!)

So, that you are prepared, we want to let you know about some changes in the Passover 2020 celebration

1. To maintain social distancing, only two people will be allowed to attend at a time, and we will be metering entry. We will be sending a Google doc so that you can sign up for your preferred portion of the seder in 15 minute shifts: The Four Questions; The Four Kinds of Children, Dayenu, The 10 Plagues, Elijah and the Afikomen. We anticipate a lot of interest in the Plagues section so we will have to make some hard choices. (NOTE: if you have children under 5 who can only attend with their parents, as long as they are entirely wrapped in plastic, you can bring them; no need to sign them up).

2. Some Seder practices and traditions will have to be modified. For example, the family style servings of haroset, matzoh, horseradish, and salt water will have to go. Each guest will receive a pre-packaged box of the essential ceremonial items plus a bowl of matzoh ball soup. You should be able to cry your own salt water tears.

3. The ceremonial hand washing, however, will be emphasized. Everybody will wash their hands every five minutes.

4. I inquired with the Almighty about the four glasses of wine limit and proposed raising it to eight. She said no problem at all. So there's that.

5. Elijah has advised that due to COVID-19 restrictions in his own organization, he will not be able to attend in person. He is learning how to use Zoom (like the rest of us) and we are hopeful that he will be up to speed by then.

6. The 10 Plagues section will be modified to focus on the one obvious plague. The other plagues don't seem that relevant. The kids are hard at work making custom COVID-19 plague masks. The design will be reminiscent of a dog cone. The good news is that they won't mess up your hair! (And we are obviously not sticking our pinkies in our wine and placing drops on our plate and then drinking the wine!!)

7. For the Afikomen, we have determined that having children with grubby hands engage in a hunt all over the house for a small piece of matzah split between all the guests will not work. We will conduct the Afikomen ceremony ahead of time wearing our N-95 masks and gloves and apportion it in separately wrapped pieces.

(Too soon?) Coronavirus Humor

Overheard between a congregant and a Rabbi:

Congregant: Rabbi, what's the best food for Coronavirus?

Rabbi: That's an easy one! Matzoh!

Congregant: Matzoh? Does it do anything to cure or prevent the disease?

Rabbi: No, but it slides right under the door!

Thu, June 4 2020 12 Sivan 5780